Brain fog, itchy scalp, aches and pains I have never felt before, bloating, breasts that feel like melons, not being able to lose weight; I am in no doubt that perimenopause has arrived at my door.
Menopause expert Kate Muir has described peri is the evil little sister of menopause. I am feeling ‘evil little sister’ energy most days as she messes with my confidence, and keeps my hormones imbalanced.
Working on radio, I chat about menopause regularly, and have learned that the list of symptoms is endless, and are completely different for each individual. Some women are in denial that this time of life has hit. I am in no doubt that it is here.
For me, it was the constant tiredness that made me make an appointment to go see my GP and have an MOT. My child is nearly five and we have a quiet house most nights, but I rarely sleep. I wanted to get back in control.
I went through the above list and my brilliant GP said, ‘Yes, sounds like you’re there. Jump up on the bed and I’ll check your breasts’. As I chatted away, I asked her what is it exactly I need to look out for; I check my breasts regularly. They do feel a little lumpy as my period approaches, but I know that’s glands – so what else am I looking out for? Just at that moment she screwed her face up and said, ‘Hmm, well I think I have found a wee cyst. Nothing to worry about, but let’s get it checked’. I took in a tenth of the rest of our conversation.
One of my best friends thought she had a cyst – she had breast cancer and she died.
Aeveen found her lump aged 38. Women are not invited for mammograms on the NHS until they are 50. Action Cancer offer mammograms from the age of 40 and since her diagnosis, Aeveen made me promise I would book one and get myself checked out. I did, and I have done regularly since.
Another close friend is undergoing treatment for breast cancer at the moment. Another is in recovery. It is all around us.
Many women shared their experiences of finding a lump, a cyst, going for the scan. The overriding message was that we need to talk about the ‘scanxiety’ more openly, and really talk about checking our breasts
In the weeks I waited to have the cyst checked out, it took a lot of mental strength to stop my mind wandering into the ‘what if’ territory. All I could do was deal with the here and now. If there’s something to deal with, then I will deal with it then. This was my internal dialogue for weeks.
Each member of staff in the breast clinic was kind, aware of what every woman who walks through those doors might be dealing with and thinking about. I went for the initial consultation and was referred on for the ultrasound. At each point that morning, I was told if you are at all worried about something, get it checked out. We would rather see you than not. I felt reassured, welcome and cared for.
- ‘My heart went out to Kate, I know what she has gone through’ - Anne HailesOpens in new window
- Why you should take part in the Belfast-based cancer study seeking to learn the lessons of the Covid-19 pandemicOpens in new window
- Anne Hailes: Don't take 'no' for an answer if you have cancer concernsOpens in new window
When the doctor told me that there was nothing to worry about. I cried. Tears of relief, tears of mixed feelings for the loss of one friend and the pain the others have had to go through.
Something made me post on Instagram about my experience. I didn’t want to elicit sympathy, but felt I needed to share this experience. My instinct was right. Many women shared their experiences of finding a lump, a cyst, going for the scan. Some needed treatment, some didn’t. They understood the mixed feelings. The overriding message was that we need to talk about the ‘scanxiety’ more openly, and really talk about checking our breasts – not just in October.
Joanne Callan from Try the Alternative encourages us not just to check our breasts, but take care of them. We have skin care routines, why not breast care routines? She suggests checking the ingredients in your deodorant. When relaxing at home, take your bra off. If you have unresolved emotions, talk to someone you can trust. Drink lots of water and move. Finally, get used to self-breast massage as great way to become familiar with our breast shape and texture.
Now that I have had a bit of an MOT, I know that the other symptoms are down to the evil little sister who has moved in for the foreseeable. Let’s see if she responds well to house training...
