‘I am my five year-old self: I still want to eat chips with red sauce, be outside, read and write stories’ - playwright Alice Malseed

1. Up and at it - what is your morning routine?

I’m a disciple of the US author and teacher, Julia Cameron, so I always start my day with Morning Pages, her daily writing routine, designed to unlock creativity. I feel really weird if I don’t do it. Then I’ll take my whippet, Charlie, for a walk.

2. What might you eat in a typical working day for...

Breakfast? Blueberries, tonnes of them - it’s a shame they’re so expensive. I usually eat them with yoghurt.

Lunch? If I’m writing, I don’t like to stop - I’ll just make some toast or something.

Evening meal? Depends on who’s in the house and what’s in the fridge. My partner is a better cook than me.

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3. Is nutrition important to you – do you take health supplements?

I don’t take anything at the minute. I’ve gone through phases of taking 5htp, collagen, cbd oil, iron, yada yada, but right now, my favourite supplement is Cadbury’s Golden Crisp chocolate.

4. Ever been on a diet – if so, how did it go?

I wouldn’t want to be discussing or promoting diets; women suffer enough without worrying about what they weigh.

5. Weekend treat?

I love to have a nap on the sofa at the weekend, it’s glorious. I work as a producer as well as a writer, so I often use the weekends to fit in some writing. I wrote the final draft of Three Pay Days at my kitchen table one Friday night, finishing at about 2am.

6. How do you keep physically and mentally fit?

Right now, I run, I swim, I lift weights. I used to box and do CrossFit, as well. I did the Belfast Marathon last year and I’ll do the half marathon this year, in September. I really subscribe to the Bessel Van Der Kolk idea that ‘The Body Keeps the Score’. Moving about really affects my mental health in the best way. I find a lot of creativity comes to me when I’m moving.

7. Best tip for everyday fitness?

For me, routine helps. But also, it’s none of my business what anyone does with their body. I’ll just stay in my lane over here and let everyone else do their thing.

Right now, my favourite supplement is Cadbury’s Golden Crisp chocolate

—  Alice Malseed

8. Were you a fan of schools sports/PE or do you have a memory from those days that you would rather forget?

I can’t forget them; I wish I could, but they live rent-free in my head. We had to have so many different pieces of PE kit which must have cost my parents a few hundred quid to buy. It all got stuffed in a locker somewhere in the bowels of my school while I skived PE with lies about periods, infections, and broken bones. The cost of school uniforms and PE kits came up a lot in my conversations with women in east Belfast and research for Three Pay Days. It’s a sin it costs so much.

9. Teetotal or tipple?

Hangovers make me terribly sad, but I do like a drink. A gin and tonic with a slice of grapefruit and loads of ice would be nice right now.

10. Stairs or lift?

The building I work in has a lift and every Monday morning, I decide I’m going to spend a week using only the stairs. The pledge usually lasts until Monday lunch-time.

11. What book are you currently reading?

While working on Three Pay Days, I have been reading two books that have informed the process; Against Landlords: How to Solve the Housing Crisis by Nick Bano and The Shame Game by Mary O’Hara. Both are startling. There are more landlords in the UK than teachers. The Shame Game looks at the societal and political causation and impact of poverty. Both informed my work and have further inspired my politics.

12. Best Netflix/streaming TV?

I just watched America’s Sweethearts about the Dallas Cowboys’ cheerleaders. I’m not sure if it’s trash TV or not, but I was hooked.

13. Any new skills or hobbies?

My partner and I have started playing the bodhran. He’s way better at it than me and obviously I’m totally fine about that…

14. How do you relax?

I’m not sure I know how to relax.

15. What would you tell your younger self?

Avoid that man, don’t move into that house and, in the words of musician and songwriter Self Esteem [aka Rebecca Taylor], ‘Prioritise Pleasure’.

16. What are your goals for 2024?

One of them was to get a new production staged, so I’m very happy to be working with Kabosh and East Side Arts on this one.

This theme of dodgy landlords is explored in depth in Three Pay Days

—  Alice Malseed

17. What time do you get to bed and do you think you get enough sleep?

I love sleep; it really is the perfect activity. I have found that now that I more settled in my living situation than before, I sleep a lot better.

18. Biggest gripe or regret?

Not taking some of my previous negligent landlords to court. This theme of dodgy landlords is explored in depth in Three Pay Days.

19. Have your priorities in life or perspectives changed?

I don’t think so. When I was five years old, I wanted to eat chips with red sauce, be outside, read and write stories. My life-goals right now are pretty much the same.

20. Has coronavirus – or any health epiphany or life event - changed your attitude towards your own mortality?

Thankfully, not. Although I’m quite shocked at what age I am - in my head, I’m still only 25.

Alice Malseed is the writer of the latest Kabosh production, Three Pay Days, which premiered in the Sanctuary Theatre as part of the EastSide Arts Festival. The play is being staged at the Felons Club, Belfast, tomorrow (August 2) as part of Féile an Phobail, and at the Playhouse Theatre, Derry, on Saturday, August 3. www.kabosh.net/production/three-pay-days