Today would have been my Granda’s 91st birthday. This is our first April Fool’s Day without him, but this will forever be his day. He slipped away from us, peacefully, just over six months ago, having outlived Granny by three and a half years.
It is so very hard and painful to lose someone you love, but in this case I have dealt with the grief by constantly reminding myself how lucky I was to have had both of them in my life for so long.
And they really were in my life. My earliest memories are of them, they were present on every occasion. Every Friday evening, I packed a basket (yes, a basket which I still have) to go to Granny’s house for the weekend. I was their first grandchild and had a special relationship with them.
Granny was a home maker, a great cook who made simple, wholesome and delicious food. Her house was always clean and tidy, and no-one could ever clean a house to her high standards. She loved making jam and could grow any flower or plant from a slip and loved her garden.
Granda, also loved gardening, but his love of the outdoors was next level. He was a very early riser, and went walking every day. When I was younger, I would go walking with him. There was a three mile loop he would walk from their house in The Moy which acted as our ‘nature walk’. Granda loved nature, hunting and walking as much as he loved westerns, or ‘cowboys’, as he called them.
He kept everything neat and tidy. A lick of methylated spirit cured everything. He drove me everywhere and awakened in me a curiosity of place, knowing roads and discovering new places. We went for manys a ‘spin’ to do ‘a wee message’. He gave me my love of history. He got my ears pierced, bought me my first bike and helped me pedal home from Doran’s bike shop, in Dungannon, failing to manage my frustration as I tried to master the stabilisers.
Parents of small children just about keep their head above water by times, such is the pressure of the juggle, we often don’t have time for the light relief and are so grateful for the help of grandparents who bring that in spades
So many memories, they were such a big part of our lives.
Not everyone gets to have a relationship with their grandparents. I know that during the pandemic years, the lack of contact between my then baby girl and my parents was very painful. While we were undoubtedly robbed of a lot of valuable time together, but thankfully, we have more than made up for it since then.
Watching the relationship between my parents and their grandchildren develop has been equally entertaining and heart warming. They act in ways they never did when we were children. Recently, I watched as my Daddy willingly played ‘café’ with my daughter, and I was howling with laughter. The dancing, the silliness is next level.
That’s the way it’s supposed to be though, isn’t it? Parents of small children just about keep their head above water by times, such is the pressure of the juggle, we often don’t have time for the light relief and are so grateful for the help of grandparents who bring that in spades. They don’t sweat the small stuff like we do.
It’s not always easy for the parents to let certain things go when the children are preparing for a sleepover an Nanny’s. I was talking with friends recently about how my wee girl gets out of her routine when she stays with my parents and the response goes straight into the brilliant parenting advice pot.
What happens when your wee ones are staying with their grandparents is none of your business, let it go.
Of course they are going to get more treats and stay up later than usual - that is part of the deal.
The grandparents who are no longer here, live on in us. If we were lucky enough to know them, we can identify and feel their traits, their mannerisms in us, and in our children, and it is beautiful.
In the days before he passed away, Granda kept asking us to take him to Vallely’s pub. That is where he met Granny almost 70 years ago. Without doubt, she fell for his sparkly blue eyes. He talked about her incessantly in those final days. There is no doubt that in his mind, he went to her, and she was waiting for him with open arms.
